CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Women Leaders in House Churches, by Catherine Scoggins

Women Leaders
When we talk about leaders in house churches whether men or women, it should be apparent by now that we are using the term "leader" not in its usual western sense as the head or boss, but rather to designate those whose primary task is shepherding or caring for the flock. A glimpse of Acts 20:28 will show that there is an overseeing component to this, but his does not seem to have been exercised in a dictatorial fashion.

This is in keeping with Jesus teachings:

You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant." Matthew 20:25ff

and again:

"And do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ. But the greatest among you shall be your servant." Matthew 23:10,11.

This is also in keeping with the practice of Paul who, in his letters, urges, exhorts, entreats, etc. in an attempt to get the churches to be faithful to their savior.

The leaders being shepherds rather than primary decision makers seems more consistent with the teachings of Jesus and the practice of the early church. The standard practice of leaders serving as the primary decision makers really turns them into priests who alone are able to discern God's will and take initiative. As such they become controllers, stifling initiative on the part of the membership and thwarting the priesthood of all believers. By and large, in house churches, the congregation makes decisions although this may take encouragement and guidance from the leaders.

With this in mind, this chapter will address several questions regarding women leadership in house churches. Please keep in mind that what is shared is merely our experiences. We will not defend our positions but rather merely share them.

How do you Recognize a Woman Leader in House Churches?
A woman leader is recognized by her being a leading servant. She has a heart which looks to help others. She is a good example and a model to other women in the congregation. She is often one who is sought out by others in times of crisis. Her counsel carries weight since it is based on scripture coupled with practical experience. She is faithful in the little things as well as the big things. Good passages are Proverbs 31, I Peter 3:1-6, Ephesians 5:21-33, I Timothy 3:11, to name a few. The scripture abounds with women in the New Testament. Mary, the other women around Jesus, and Priscilla, Phoebe, Dorcas, are a few. Paul's lists abound with women's names (Cf. Romans 16:1-16).

Our women leaders are formally recognized by the existing elders or church planters. This may be by the laying on of hands or some other appropriate mechanism which clearly marks them out as shepherds to the other woman. Normally we have at least two male leaders and one female in each church. They stand at the top of the discipleship chains.

What do Women Leaders do in the Church?
Titus 2:3ff "..older women are to be...teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the work of God may not be dishonored."

This is a good description of what women leaders do in house churches. I have heard the above disparaging called "teaching home economics". But anyone who has tried to shepherd women in the above ways (and other specific commands given to women as well as the general commands given to all believers) knows that this puts women in the forefront of transformational ministry (Romans 12:2). 2 Corinthians 3 discusses this ministry at length and insists that mature, redeemed people are used by the Holy Spirit in such ministry. This is hard work and often discouraging (as 2 Corinthians 4:1ff shows). But it is the most meaningful type of ministry a man or woman can be engaged in. Ones who are going to engage in this ministry have to be very skilled at the word (Cf. 2 Timothy 3:16f).

In our house churches women shepherd women in this way and men shepherd men. We hold to gender lines in this ministry because it is delicate, intense, intimate work, and can allow the evil one a foothold if bonds of love are formed across gender lines. The women's ministry operates separately from, yet interdependently with the men's ministries. The older women are entrusted to discern what the Lord would call them to do to equip the women for works of ministry.

So basically, women leaders do among the women what men leaders do among the men; they shepherd by teaching, training, equipping, empowering and stimulating women to love and good deeds. They draw other women into active participation in the ministry of the church at every level. Women are often more involved and engaged in many ministries such as mercies and hospitality then the men. We have found that women really form the relational cement that holds house churches and fellowships of house churches together. Likewise they can be a corrosive force that tears it apart if the ministry to women flounders or is carried out in ways tainted with pride.

The women's ministries tend to use different tools then the men's ministries in accomplishing this. Although the content may often be the same (like the studies in the appendices) the process varies greatly. The men often use purely cognitive tools, where women leaders function more relationally. They may use group studies, or they may use one on one discipleship or counseling. They may informally draw up beside a women even spending lengthy times in her home watching her with her children, her husband, etc. giving practical help and guidance. They rely heavily on knowledge of the Word coupled with practical experience gained over the years.

Are Women Leaders Important in the Life of The Church?
Emphatically yes! Usually over one half of the members of a church are women. We do not believe that men should be shepherding women. Older women are commanded to do so. The rampant immorality arising often from the pastoral counseling chambers of evangelical churches should be enough to show the foolishness of cross-gender shepherding. (We do see cross-gender shepherding happening, of course, as a husband & wife team often work together with other married couples or singles. This was likely Priscilla and Aquila's experience with Apollos and many others -- even Paul?.)

Practically a woman can speak with authority both from the Word and experience when she counsels a younger woman on being a godly wife. I am struck by the irony of a male pastor trying to expound authoritatively on a passage such as Ephesians 5:21-23 on how to be a godly wife. Having tried to do so, I can testify that the effort is weak at best. An older, godly women is far better able to speak with authority on such subjects. So, if only men are leaders, half of the church will either be poorly shepherded or go uncared for.

Beyond this, though, we know that God made woman to complement man (Cf. I Corinthians 11). Man is incomplete in himself to fully grasp the purposes of God. A male only leadership in the church is bound to be unbalanced, normally not giving as much attention to relational issues and ministries such as mercies which are often the heart and soul of a church. Such a church may have a big head since men often are consumed with cognitive issues, but will have a little heart.

In our house churches women have tremendous freedom to exercise their gifts and ministries to other women and the body at large. Men and women's ministries progress in a complementary, interdependent way. Men do not dictate what the women are to do in ministry (realizing they cannot do so effectively) nor do the women dictate to the men. They proceed on parallel paths, influencing one another but not controlling one another. The elders entrust the ministry to the Godly women and don't get involved unless requested or problems arise requiring broader interaction of the body. As a result we seem to have little competition between the sexes in the church.

Are there any Restrictions on Women Leaders?
We try to focus on the freedoms and opportunities that both women and men have. From the above discussion it should be apparent that there are restrictions on women leaders as there are on male leaders. We believe that women should not exercise authority over men. Therefore some activities will be limited. Of course the same is true for male leaders. We do no allow a man to exercise direct spiritual authority over a women (other than his wife -- and this in a complementary fashion -- not a dictatorial one. Cf. our booklet Becoming One, a guide to corporate identity in the marriage relationship).

Many activities that are normally carried out by men are also done by women in house churches. For instance women may baptize other women whom they lead to the Lord. Often they will officiate at a celebration of the Lord's table with shut ins and the infirm. Of course, since the Lords table is often more informal in the house church, often shared around a meal, the host and hostess are often quite involved as a team in such a situation. Often wives and husbands function as a leadership team in house churches. Of course, in a house church setting where open discussion is the norm, women are heavily involved in teaching (even though, in most of our house churches, a man may oversee the discussion).

How do Women Work Together in a Fellowship?
You should keep in mind that fellowships are produced when house churches reproduce and choose to remain connected, usually meeting monthly as a fellowship of the congregations. The leaders of a fellowship also interact for strength and stability. Women generally keep in touch long after the house churches reproduce. There is often a great deal of informal ministry that crosses house church lines. But often formal ministry will cross lines as well. A gifted woman counselor from one house church will often be asked to help with a difficult case in another house church. One-on-one discipleship usually does not end just because a church reproduces but goes on sometimes long after the women are in two different house churches.

Often the women in one house church in the fellowship may be substantially more mature than in other, often faster growing house churches, and they are looked to for help and ministry. Women church planters often fill this spot in new house church fellowships.

Often the women leaders of the different house churches will meet together monthly for encouragement and edification. During these meetings they will often have extensive prayer times as well as sharing practical needs and difficult shepherding cases for advice from the other women. Obviously maturity respecting confidentiality is necessary in this group.

Often these meetings will include studies from the Bible for edification of the leaders or equipping them for greater service. They have even invited a man in on occasion! Retreats are also organized. Whatever the women feel would be helpful they do.

They also organize events, special teaching, etc. for the women of the fellowship rather than just the leaders. They do whatever is necessary for the building up of the women so that "the whole body can be knit together by that which every part supplies." (Ephesians 4:16).

Key Principles

1. Women lead women, Men lead men. Both have restrictions.

2. Women leaders should be recognized and appointed.

3. Women are the cement that keeps house churches together. They often spot relational problems long before the male leadership.

4. Women leaders should sustain good communication with the male leadership and should be trusted by them so that their wisdom will be accepted. They are often the eyes and ears of the church.

5. Women shepherds, although they will use a great deal of the same discipling material, will use it differently from men. They will also develop their own material which is not particularly useful for men (as men will develop some material of their own).

Questions for further thought

1. Go back to your discipleship chain pictures. What do your women’s discipleship chains look like?

2. Do the women leaders know who they are? Does the church? If not, what are the consequences? Which are you already experiencing?

3. Do they feel trusted, supported, listened to? How can you improve communication?

Addendum: by Dick Scoggins
In New England we are often asked “can you have women pastors in your churches?”. This is a complicated question and the underlying presuppositions from which it is asked makes it particularly difficult to answer. Because of this I will take a couple of paragraphs to answer it here.

From what we have previously said in this chapter it should be apparent that our answer would be yes, if the question is, “do woman shepherd and care for people in a pastoral way?”. But, of course, that is not really the question. The real question they are asking usually is “In your churches can you have women pastors that are the same as men pastors?”. That is an entirely different question.

The way the question is asked is based on ability. “Can you have women pastors in the same way as you have men pastors?” The answer based on ability would certainly be yes. In fact we have many women who are far more able to pastor then men. But the question is not one of ability, but of propriety. The question is not “can she be a pastor over men” but “should she be a pastor over men”? They answer to each of these questions is quite different just as the answer to the question “can I hit you?” is quite different from “should I hit you?”

The reason I am taking such pains with this issue is because it is so divisive and misunderstood, and the answer depends greatly on our presuppositions and Worldview. In western society we have gone a long way toward giving up absolute truth and settling for relativistic truth. For instance: equality between men and women is considered a given; not merely equality of value before God but equality of roles as well. Anything that smacks of inequality is labeled discrimination and rejected out of hand.

In a society where everything is seen as being permitted, any restrictions on person freedom, especially where there is ability, is seen as “wrong”. Where a person is “able” to excel, and not allowed to, this would be a heinous crime, especially where self actualization is accepted as the highest value. Such philosophy came in the 19th century from Kant, Neitche, Heidegger and Marx and earlier philosophers like Marchiavelli. These philosophies led to the weakening of Christianity in the early 20th century as denomination after protestant denomination defected from traditional Christianity and embraced a philosophy of liberal humanism. In the end the church was so weak it was not able to stand against the logical outcome; relativistic rulers like Hitler and Stalin.

Humanism may be an outdated philosophy, but the underlying presuppositions still lurk under much of western thought. Could is not the same as should. And the highest value for a Christian is not self-actualization, but glorifying God. The issue is not “can I” but “should I”. Jesus could have come down off the cross. He couldhave called a thousand legions of angels to avoid the cross. But the issue was “shouldhe”? And the answer to that was “no!”. For the issue for Jesus was what was God the Father’s plan and what would bring His Father Glory! Jesus did not choose the road of self-actualization, but rather self-emptying (Philippians 2:7f).

The same needs to be true for us. We need to be very careful as we evaluate our underlying presuppositions as we answer this question (and every question!). We need to let scripture be our guide, and the absolutes of the Bible shape our values, not the philosophies of this world (Colossians 2:8). We need to weigh the whole counsel of God. Passages like Galatians 3:28 cannot be taken as the definitive verse (although it is very important) but must be interpreted in light of the full counsel of God with such verses as I Corinthians 11:2-16, 14:26-36; Ephesians 5:21-33; I Timothy 2:9-15.

For us, we have concluded that God wished to have women pastors over women and men pastors over the church.