Visitation

I. Pray for the other shepherds and care for them as needed.

II. Visitation (2 visits per year per member)

OPTIONS:

• Visit alone
• Visit with another man (in training)
• Visit with your wife
• Have them visit you in your home. This is especially good to model hospitality and encourage more of it in those you entertain.

III. Notice when ones are struggling or in need.

1. Repeated absences from services:
   1. A phone call to inquire of illness etc.
   2. Arrange a visit is there a signs of spiritual struggle
   3. If they require further care be sure to take steps and let
   4. the other shepherds know so they can pray and offer help.
2. Physical injury or illness Be certain needs are cared for including such items as: child care, meals, housekeeping, etc.

IV Foster edification of believers, helping them become functional members of the body.

1. Encourage them to be involved in ministries
   
2. Seek to recruit them to help others already involved in ministry.
   
3. Give training yourself or fix them up with others in the body who can disciple them.
   
4. Keep your eye out for ones who are gifted in shepherding and endeavor to reproduce your ministry in them.
   

V Meet monthly with the other shepherds:

1. For prayer
2. For edification
3. For sharing difficult areas needing counsel
4. For sharing updates slips

FACILITATING GROUPS

I. You must first analyze and get to know the group. Several questions for you to answer.

1. What is the purpose for this community? A community must exist for a reason beyond itself. "A community that exists for itself will die" Jean Vanier

1. Does the community understand this?
   
2. What needs to happen for the community to embrace this purpose? Teaching, visioning, etc.

2. What is needed to accomplish the task? (At this point it may be helpful to outline specific sub-goals which have to be achieved to accomplish the purpose -- e.g.. making a covenant, developing a vision, implementing sub-steps in the vision, etc.)

3. What are the needs of the group which when met will enable the church to accomplish the task? Deeper bonding, learning how to work together, healing, "how to" teaching, fellowship, motivation, discipline, etc.

4. What resources are available to help me as a shepherd lead the sheep into accomplishing the purpose? Training tools, resources within the group, resources outside the group (Be sure to check through appropriate channels).

II. Now begin to evaluate how your group meetings can aid you in accomplishing the task. Have a clear global purpose for each type of meeting. There may be more than one. You might write down what it is now and then what it ought to be based on the above analysis.

1. Monthly Sunday evening fellowship meetings

2. Sunday morning meetings

3. Mid-week meetings

EVALUATE YOUR MEETINGS REGULARLY WITH YOUR LEADERSHIP TEAM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR IMPROVEMENT. ASK OTHER GROUPS WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Shepherding Update

Shepherd: __________________________ Date: ________________

People visited:

Special needs, notes

Other notable contacts (Phone, chance meeting, spouse)



Shepherding Update

Shepherd ____________________ Date _____________________

People visited:

Special needs, notes

Other notable contacts (Phone, chance meeting, spouse)



GETTING TO KNOW YOUR FLOCK

Name:

Address:

Phone:

History:

Testimony of Salvation

Previous involvement in churches, parachurch groups etc.

Activities engaged in, level of discipleship: previously completed discipleship tools.

Present involvement: Baptism and Membership, who are friends in the church

Present discipleship involvement: who and what?

Approximate level of Christian maturity and commitment:( List reasons)

Spiritual gifts/ministries:

Greatest need:


SHEPHERDING VISITATION

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near." Hebrews 10:23-25

This exhortation in Hebrews should be a challenge to each of us who are fulfilling a shepherding responsibility before the Lord. We all need to be encouraged at some point in our Christian walk, but so often at that crucial point, no one is has taken the time to develop a meaningful enough relationship to give help in time of need. As shepherds we need to let people know that we care for them and take the initiative in establishing a caring relationship. The congregation needs to know that the shepherds desire to have regular, private contact with each family in the church from which confidential, caring attitudes can be developed. With this in mind we will embark on regular visitation with members who have specifically been assigned to us. The purpose of this visitation is to encourage the saints and let them know that we are concerned for their well-being. My own experience has shown that many potentially serious problems can be exposed early before they fester when such visits occur.

Keep the meeting upbeat and moving, neither getting bogged down in chit-chat (which may be a smoke screen or a sign of discomfort) nor appearing clinical or insincere. The depth in which you go into various topics should be gauged by your previous relationship as well as their willingness to open up to you. An initial visit should be to get acquainted, getting to know their testimony (and sharing yours) as well as general and spiritual interests. If they open up proceed based on you ability to handle what they are sharing. If you are getting in over your head suggest that they see someone else in the church (and be certain to follow up on this).

Develop questions to lead into areas of their life in a relaxed, non-threatening way.

For example:

1. Job: What do you do? How has your walk with Christ affected your approach to your job?

2. Testimony: How did you come to get interested in Spiritual things?

3. Home: How did you and your spouse meet? How do you live out your life with Christ in the presence of your family?

4. Personal walk: What are your personal patterns that you have developed in your walk with the Lord? Do you have any idea what your spiritual gifts are?

The most important part of the visit will be your introduction. Something like:

"As shepherds we try to get around to each family a couple of times each year to find out how they are doing and get any input they might like to give with respect to the church. I don't know you as well as I'd like to. What do you do for work?".......


THE TIGER OF LUST

One terrible bleak day in Bangladesh where my wife, Julie, and I were serving as missionaries, we received word of the spiritual defeat of the man who led me to Christ, ordained me, and pastored a church which generously supported us. This outstanding soul-winner and president of a very large Bible college divorced his wife and married one of his students who was 30 years his junior.

Not long after that, my wife's spiritual mentor commenced a sexual affair with a married mother of two young children. The church where he was an associate pastor became suspicious and hired a detective to put him under surveillance. Within a short time he was confronted with indisputable proof of his promiscuity. He then resigned his church position, divorced his wife and later married a woman who was not the same person as was the object of his initial adulterous affair.

Such is the "spiritual heritage" of my wife and myself. These two occurrences have been the most traumatic spiritual experiences in our 26 years on the mission field. But by no means are these isolated incidents. I have known evangelical missionaries who were adulterous, homosexual or addicted to pornography. In reflection, I can only conclude that God's chosen servants are very special targets of sexual temptation. In recent years, our cloistered existence has been bombarded with a level of fleshly enticement that has been overwhelming. Easy access to pornography and immoral movies have dented the armor of the pulpit as well as the pew. Battle-fatigued men of God have begun the insidious slide downward without even being overtly aware of how, when, and where it all began.

This side is described in James 1:14,15. "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death." The process of temptation becoming lust, which births sin and results in spiritual death, is well known to thousands of Christian leaders. I have sought to describe this fleshly syndrome in terms of a graph which can assist married Christian men in more clearly identifying stages of sexual enticement. It is obvious that the sequence will be varied in many instances. But, in a general way, the downward path to moral ruin can be illustrated as seen in this graph.

Level Description

1 Enjoyment of another woman's personality

2 Appreciation of her body

3 Thoughts of physical lust

4 Emotional desire

5 Initiation of casual encounters

6 Mutual arrangement for frequent meetings

7 The first lustful touch

8 Total deceit with one's wife

9 Intimacy without full sex

10 The physical act of adultery

Level one is a normal bilateral sociological function. Men are placed in close proximity to women in every sector of society. It is only natural to find another person's personality pleasing and enjoyable. But it is at this point the tiger of lust begins lurking in the shadows.

The next two levels, unfortunately, are closely linked. To look appreciatively upon God's unique creation is not only natural but universal. But this "look" so easily becomes perverted and undergoes a metamorphosis into lust. The Christian is beginning to confront an all out attack on the very core of his spirituality. Victorious Christians are the ones who wage the most serious and successful battles for holy thoughts at levels two and three.

Level four becomes personal. Lust can be more easily shaken off if it is only directed toward a body and not a mind. Emotional desire sets the stage for a compromise of marital exclusiveness. Something internal seems to be wildly raging out of control. Misery as well as excitement vie for center stage. A lifetime of stable moral values cries out for reinforcement. Yet the flesh tantalized and prods one to move closer and closer toward the precipice. Rationalization sets in. It becomes ever so difficult to turn back.

Levels five and six are outworkings of a premeditated decision to move forward. The die is cast. Promiscuity is reinforced by physical presence, casual at first, and then by mutual arrangement. This is followed by the first touch of lust. The body pulsates with new life and thrilling sensations. Sensuality is all embracing. Not only the body but the brain has been seduced. In the euphoric glow of the flesh, Jesus Christ has been thrust aside into the darkness of a total eclipse.

The eight level of ongoing and total deceit with one's wife is one of the saddest aspects of moral failure. Self-destruction is a premeditated choice of personal anarchy. But to turn one's power of alienation against love and beauty in the person of a wife once beloved is cruelty in its rawest forms. Rejection digs a furrow deep into the soul.

Level nine. The tiger of lust has come out of the shadows and now boldly stalks its prey. It is moving in for the final assault. The sought one is tired and confused. Capitulation, without due consideration to consequence seems the only way of release. The pace of flight slackens and the tiger draws nearer...and nearer...and nearer...

Level ten. The strong, gnashing teeth of the devourer closes tightly around the conquered one. At first, a feeble attempt at resistance...then quiet acquiesce. All that is seen is a barren, God forsaken, wasteland with a majestic tiger standing regally astride the fallen warrior. All that is heard is the roar of victory amidst the deafening silence of the cosmos.

How does the Christian avoid such a terrible scenario of spiritual suicide? The secret lies in recognizing two realities. The first is how horrible the end result of sexual sin inevitable will be. The second is the urgency of stopping the process of defeat at the earliest instance.

Level two should be a red flag to the sensitive Christian. Anything further can be self-perpetuating and fraught with disastrous consequences. A popular contemporary teaching is restoration theology. Christ forgives and forgets. Without denying the broad perimeters of the restoring grace of our Lord, I personally would prefer to emphasize God's protective mercy which will keep me from a sin so powerful that it can destroy not only me but also those whom I love most.

Prevention is always to be preferred over treatment. The two greatest deterrents to immorality are a warm, vital, ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ and a sparkling, joyful, sustained love affair with one's wife. With this focus in life, there can be assurance that the tiger of lust will yet be tamed.


SEVEN STEPS TO TAKE WHEN YOU RECEIVE CRITICISM

1. Pass the "trial" of bitter water (Numbers 5:11-31); woman must pass it by not getting bitter.

1. Thank God for the test (I Thess. 5:18).
2. Criticism causes by-standers to step back, watch, and wait (Ps. 38:11).
3. Bitterness on your part proves the critics are right (Prov. 26:2).
4. Bitterness will defile you, family, church (Heb. 12:15).
5. Rewards of "passing the test" (Numbers 5:28)
   1. cleansing
   2. freedom
   3. increased fruitfulness in your ministry
6. No wonder God says to rejoice when falsely accused (Matt. 5:12).

2. Trace criticism to reveal the source (Prov. 14:15).

1. Review challenge of 2 Corinthians 4:7-18; beware when all speak well of you.
2. "Condemn" those who oppose God's work by not giving up (Is. 54:17). Do this by finishing the work -- Noah (Heb. 11:7).
3. Vocal critics are usually spokesmen for silent critics (therefore, no point in attacking him). A real critic is the one close to you.
4. Get the actual words from those who spoke them (Matt 18:15).
5. Are they criticizing:
   1. Message content?
   2. Message emphasis (keep it balanced)? Truth out of balance leads to heresy.
   3. Message delivery?
   4. Your appearance?
   5. Your use of time? (Make sure they know what it is)
   6. Outside involvement?
   7. Faults in your family?
   8. Financial decisions?
   9. Your leadership?
   10. Your attitudes?
   11. Your counsel?
   12. Your neglect of them?
6. Learn the motivational gifts of your critic and view his criticism through his gift. Example:
   1. Prophet (secrecy)
   2. Service (practical needs)
   3. Teacher (using right words)
   4. Exhorter (practical steps of action)
   5. Giver (wise use of resources)
   6. Ruler (goals)
   7. Mercy (people being wounded)
7. Discern motivation behind the criticism.
   
   1. Sincere desire to improve you, your message.
   2. Desire to be in control (building case to rebel).
   3. Rejection of truth (self-justification).
   4. Vengeance for personal offense.
   5. Taking up offenses for others.

3. Respond quickly and wisely to your critics (James 3:5).

1. Keep church leaders and family well informed (Matt. 18:16)
2. Welcome all criticism with an approachable spirit (Prov. 15:5, James 3:17)
3. Admit faults and ask forgiveness (Acts 24:16, I Tim. 1:19).
4. Deal swiftly and Scriptually with a scorner and reviler (Prov. 22:10, I Cor.5:11). Example:
   1. Divisive teachers -- rebuke sharply (Titus 1:10-13).
   2. Railers and revilers -- put out of the fellowship and avoid (I Cor. 5:11)
   3. Contentious older women -- have elders appeal to them, let them be trained if see real needs.
   4. Carnal young women -- require them to mind their business at home.

4. Know that your message and calling are from God. (Gal. 6:4--its your burden)

1. Review God's leading (Ps. 103:2).
2. Expect fiery trials ( I Peter 4:12, II Peter 2:1-10).
3. Realize God's grace comes only through humbling (James 4:6).
4. Relate criticism to the testing of your message (I Cor. 10:12).
5. Accept affliction as the deepening of your message (Ps. 119:71).

5. Encourage your heart in the Lord (I Sam. 30:6).

1. Personalize Psalms and Proverbs each morning (5 and 1).
2. Read I and II Peter each evening.
3. Engraft Romans 6 and 8 into your soul (James 1:2).
4. Put yourself to sleep quoting Romans 8.
5. Read biographies of great Christians and triumphant devotionals to your family.

6. Look at fear as an invitation to defeat (II Tim. 1:7). Example: Job -- his children would sin, would lose possessions, would lose health.

1. Having fears allows Satan to bring them to pass (Job 3:25,26; Prov. 29:25).
2. 450 times - "Fear not".
3. Learn to recognize fears:
   1. rejection
   2. loss of job
   3. loss of reputation
   4. failure
   5. others
4. Match each fear with Scriptural hope.
5. Conquer fear by mature love and God's presence (I John 4:18, David's ex.)

7. Let God confirm you ministry (I Peter 5:10,11).

1. Watch God work through your deeper message (Heb. 12:12,13).
   
   1. People released from sin.
   2. Financial provision.
2. Expect your good works to shame your critics (I Peter 2:12).
   

LEADERSHIP EVALUATION

1. What type of person are you? DOER, INFLUENCER, RELATER, THINKER? Why?

2. What are the strengths of this leadership approach? The weaknesses?

STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES

3. In what ways might you be critical of other types of people?

1. Which would be the hardest to work with for you?
2. Can you think of anyone like this?
   

4. Think of the other leaders on your team. How would you evaluate their approach?

NAME	TYPE LEADER D,I,R,T	STRENGTHS -WEAKNESSES
___________________	_____________________	_____________________
___________________	_____________________	_____________________
___________________	_____________________	_____________________

5. What are the strengths each bring to your group?

What strengths do you bring?

6. What are some ways you can work together with in order to bring about a good balance?

7. What are some ways the devil might try to fragment your team? What are some things that you could do to prevent this from happening?





LEADERSHIP PROGRESS CHART
Name:_____________________________ Date:___________
Church:_________________________

ACTIVITIES (Helps) PRACTICE VERIFIED



1. Understanding of Faith, Repentance, Baptism

(John, Acts 2, Romans 3-6, Basics of Obedience)

2. Sustained, ongoing walk with God:

1. Prayer life
2. Growing in the Word

3. Lead family worship in home

4. Corporate Unity with wife (Becoming One)

5. Shepherding household (wife, children)

6. Witness for Christ (Gospels, Acts, Living in the Kingdom, MDG Evangelism)

7. Lead evangelistic Bible Study

8. Follow up new believer to ground in faith (Entering the Kingdom)

9. Follow up new believer to bond with body (Covenanting Together, MDG Church)

10. Oversee a covenanting service

11. Financial stewardship (Budget, giving) (Larry Burckette)

12. Bond to body (Love Neighbor)

1. find place of service in body
2. exercise forgiveness
3. accept criticism

13. Lead service celebrating the Lord's Supper

14. Lead worship in house meeting

15. Lead Bible Study in house meeting

16. Recruit another man for leadership training (1,2 Timothy, Titus, MDG Shepherding)

17. Set up ministry expectations for intern (MDG Leadership, Building House Church)

18. Train intern to lead house group (worship, Bible Study) SGM, Shepherd's Guide)

ACTIVITIES PRACTICE VERIFIED

19. Train intern to shepherd (Counseling course)

20. Intern begins to train his own intern (Titus, Timothy)

21. Selection and Ordination of new elders

22. Encourage spawning of another House Congregation

23. Develop Understandings for growth and edification of house group

1. Organize working diaconate
2. . Be certain children's needs are cared for

24. Apply the word to individual needs

25. Equip members for ministry

26. Pray for and counsel the sick

27. Discipline of rebellious, unruly members

28. Maintain relations with network leaders

29. Church approach to World missions

30. Ongoing personal evaluation

31. Ongoing congregational evaluation (minimum every 3 months).

32. Perseverance through warfare (MDG Spiritual Warfare)