| Plan B
Plan B
Fortunately God has given us recourse if things don’t go exactly according to the plan above. But let's look at the worst case scenario. The victim goes to the villain, and the villain explodes; he refuses to listen to the victim. According to Mt. 18, one or two witnesses must now be brought in. Usually it's at this point that a church leader may be brought into the conflict. The conflict is now escalated; more people are beginning to see that the villain is really a villain. He looks terrible now. The villain knows that people are talking about him; it's not gossip, it's Biblical (as long as the guidelines are adhered to)! These new people have been brought in to observe what's happening, confirm where fault lies, and help direct the parties to take appropriate responsibility for what they have each done. Many times, however, a victim does not want the third party to come into contact with the villain. Why? Often it may be because the situation may not be as bad as the victim makes it out to be. When the situation is seen by an objective third and forth person, all sides are heard from. Often the victim is not quite so helpless after all. As mentioned above, victims want control, usually through manipulation. Control of information is a way of manipulation. This is why God, in his wisdom provides others who can see both sides, to remain neutral and see how they can help both parties. Mt. 18 defines the scope of the exercise of the Covenant of Forgiveness. "When a brother sins against you, go to your brother." It is very important to define what sin is. Many times we fail each other's expectations. This is not sin; this is failed expectations. We often fail each other; what's important is that we fulfill God's expectations. When we do not do that, then that is sin. When we fail each other, that is not sin. There is a world of difference, and it must be delineated. Failed expectations is not sin, unless the expectations are God's clear commands. Many times people accuse us of sin. Is sin defined as failing their expectations? Are they God? Are their expectations God's? No; of course not! In such a case the victim can learn much as he/she brings along the one or two others. Often in such a case, misunderstandings can be cleared up. And expectations which are hidden can be brought into the light and reviewed. With a wise third party often real healing can occur, many times of scars that have been years in forming. Plan B Part B Let us suppose the first part of Plan B has been followed. The victim has received more revelation and has continued to walk in the spirit confessing and repenting with the one or two who are now with her in the process. But the villain has become further hardened and shows no movement towards repentance even though it is clear that he has sinned. Matthew 18:17 says the next step is to bring it to the community so that all in the community can try to bring the brother to repentance. Often it is at this point that the erring brother will finally come to his senses. At this point there are a lot of resourced that God can use to minister both to the victim and the villain. God’s Spirit often uses one or more of these to bring the brother to repentance, or even bring more light for the victim so that she can further grow and lay a foundation for God to work more deeply. Plan B Part C But if even here there is no repentance, God has given further instruction in Mt. 18:17. “If he refuses to listen even to the church let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.” Notice that throughout the passage the reason for further steps of discipline is not because of sin but rather an unwillingness to receive the light (“listen”). That is the villain is hardened in his position and not humble, not accepting the counsel of others. This is a very difficult step to take, putting someone out of the assembly. But it is sometimes necessary for the reclamation of their soul (Cf. I Cor. 5:5). Back |